We often find what we're looking for.

It’s becoming increasingly like fall: cold and sometimes foggy in the morning and warming to near 70 degrees by mid-afternoon.  And it’s almost Halloween.  A fall tradition for us is taking the family (and in this case, two families) to the pumpkin patch to select the all-important pumpkins for carving.  We take the hay ride from the farm out to the field — which is a joy in itself — then we each romp around looking for THE pumpkin.  This year, it was so much fun to watch the kids and their friends.  The boys both selected pumpkins so big they could hardly carry them, and the girls were just so happy to find one that was cute and round and just the right size.

Spending a hour out on a farm, surrounded by moist earth, acres of plump orange pumpkins and giggling children.  That’s a pretty joyous afternoon.

I put off my quest for joy yesterday until I could stop the rumbling in my belly — it was after 2pm and I was beyond hungry.  I grabbed a soft taco from cart row and made my way to Pioneer Square to sit in a pleasant place to eat in the sun.  While enjoying my late lunch I found myself tapping my toes to a lively beat that could be heard for blocks.  Strong, bold, rhythmic tones emanated from the corner on the next street.  It was happy, vibrant music.  I walked to where I could see this wonderful man rapping wood on plastic so enthusiastically that I couldn’t help but smile.  Watching from a fair distance away, I saw several people do a little dance as they walked by him.

After five minutes or more of enjoying the music, enjoying the musician and the people he moved to movement, I wanted to give something back to this man who was spreading joy to so many.  I hopped into Starbucks, bought him a cup of coffee, put some money in his jar and thanked him for livening up the corner with his soulful music.  It was clear to me he was doing what he loved, and in addition to the joyful  sounds, I spied joy in his spirit; and it rippled out from that street corner into the ears and toes and hearts of many of us fortunate passers by.

When a friend and co-worker gave me two homemade peanut butter chocolate chip cookies one morning following a particularly challenging day, I was absolutely elated. If she hadn’t stood up to hug me I would have sat in her lap and given her a squeeze that may well have knocked all the wind out of her. This small but meaningful gesture gave me such joy for hours, long after I devoured those fabulous bits of heaven.

 It actually took me off guard; how much pleasure I found in those cookies and the warm and nurturing thoughts behind them.  Then, a day later, my daughter brought me, unsolicited, a beautiful drawing she’d just completed. “See mama, these are the clouds, and the sky and the sun.  And some flowers, and here’s me.  I drew it for you.”  My heart melted and there it was again – that deep, deep gratitude for a small and meaningful gesture.

That’s when it occurred to me to make a list of the little things that make their way instantly to the center of me and bubble up a smile that then sends ripples of gratitude so tangible I can just almost see them.  These moments of gratitude, of appreciation – that’s joy.  To be aware of and appreciate the moment and what’s happening in it is pure, simple, golden joy.  It lives.  And it spreads, if you let it.

The List…a beginning

It’s been over a month now that I’ve been on this quest to spy joy and I’ve noticed a few things.

1) Joy is most easily and most often found in children.  Children are quick to run and laugh and play.  They do not hesitate to have a good time.  I used to think this was because they aren’t worn down by the pressures and stress we adults shoulder every day.  That’s not fully true.  Children have their own pressure and stress and although we can see missing recess for a day is a trifle, to them it’s monumental.  The difference is they let it go.  They sulk and pout for 20 or even 40 minutes, but then it’s gone and forgotten and they’ve found another game to play.  And children are transparent: feel joy, smile and laugh; feel sad, cry and pout. 

2) The visual effects of joy are fleeting.  The expression of it flashes in the glint of an eye, a lift of an eyebrow, a smile that washes over a face before dispersing into a pool of time that quickly becomes the past. If camera isn’t in hand and ready, the moment disappears uncaptured. 

3) Joy, while abundant as ever, goes unseen.  We’re at a point in time where we seem to be looking for misery.  We anticipate sorrow and pain and so we find it.  It’s not that there’s any more of it then before, it’s just that we’re choosing to focus on it. Think life isn’t good? Was your coffee warm and satisfying this morning when you took that first sip?  Did you enjoy a warm shower and the clean, fresh scent of soap today? Were you greeted with a smile and a hug from your child or spouse or friend or coworker? Did your electricity work this morning?  Was the commute to work happily uneventful because your car is reliable? Did you have food to nourish your body and music to soothe your soul? Clothes that are comfortable and warm? We are met with joy and wonder at every turn. If we just allow ourselves to see it we will realize life is a fabulous, marvelous, delicious gift.  Savor it. Breathe it into the depths of you and be thankful for every single second.  Joy lives.

Articles focused on joy are a welcome sight among the sea of recent depressing headlines. The need open our eyes to the joy that is all around us seems to be greater than ever. A few members of the media must agree, as Google ferreted out three articles focused on joy this weekend.

The Nassau Guardian published “Make a Happiness List“, in which D. Paul Reilly suggests making a happiness list, saying “you will in effect be making a comprehensive list of how you can contribute in a most meaningful way to the ultimate happiness of others.”

Globe and Mail published a column by Leah McLaren, who says boldly, “This is what I have decided: Routines make people happy.”

And the Muskogee Phoenix reported that the Character Council of Muskogee selected JoAn Crabtree as the person in the community who best exemplifies joyfulness. The article quotes JoAn on her definition of joy: “It’s a sense of inner peace,” she said. “It’s not happiness; that’s a different thing. You can be happy but have no joy.”

One of the great joys of summer is a gathering of friends and family for a late afternoon soiree.  I had the pleasure of indulging myself at just such a gathering this past weekend. We spent the entire time outside – on the deck, in the hammocks, soaking in the late summer sun. I spied joy in young children, puppy dogs and dear friends, and quiet a bit of it in myself.

A great article about finding joy appeared on Fosters.com today. Maggie McCauley of Berwick, Maine, says in her piece “Happiness At Work Comes From Within”:

“The first thing we must know is that joy is not a peak experience; it’s a natural experience. It is having a true sense of peacefulness, not the exuberance? or what I call the “Yahoo!” moments that we know. It is the simple smile, the acknowledgment. Joy isn’t fleeting. Joy is “in there” all the time. Just like the sun on a cloudy day. Joy never goes away.”

She goes on to explain that she feels there are three aspects of life that help us stay connected to our joy: gratitude, community and self-care. Read Maggie’s article on Happiness.

Today was the first day of school.  For my daughter, it was the first day of kindergarten — a real milestone. She’s been in daycare for years, but that was daycare.  This is school.  You know, where big kids go. Last week she spent some time walking around the house with her backpack on; testing it out, practicing.  So this morning she felt like a pro.  She walked into that building, sporting her pink Barbie backpack and brand new jeans, cool as a cucumber.  When she sat down at her very own desk with her name on it, she beamed.  A new chapter of her life opening. And true to the joyful spirit that she is, she met it with a smile.

As I stood there, snapping photos among a sea of other proud parents with cameras in hand, joy bubbled up and over Hough Elementary and spilled into the streets.