We often find what we're looking for.

Flower bud, by Hagit

The new year always gets me thinking about creating new possibilities, starting fresh and thinking big.  I began preparing a couple days before the end of the year — cleaning out a few things, packing up old files and storing them, gathering items to give to Goodwill.

This is the first time I’ve seen the surface of my desk in months and months. I actually put away clothes from the basket that I’ve been adding to and pulling from for at least 6 weeks. And the little purple duffel bag I took to the beach back in August finally got emptied and off my bedroom floor. As I look around at the open spaces I’ve created I feel like the ground has been cleared for a fresh new crop of goodness to rise up into my life. I think I may even be breathing deeper.

Pondering this once-a-year motivation, it occurs to me that I could look at each and ever day the same way.  Every morning, after all, is a fresh start, a new opportunity to begin again and make the choices that support my life goals.

Happy new year!  And happy new day!

Bus shelter in Vancouver, WA

Peace is in the air.  Or at least it seems to be.  I keep seeing signs of it everywhere.

A house in our neighborhood has a big peace sign on the lawn made with Christmas lights, a notice for the Let’s Think Peace art show came across Twitter from YES Magazine, and today I saw this bus shelter painted for peace.  These are just the highlights–I’ve seen peace sign rings, bumper stickers, t-shirts…

It’s kind of nice, the way the concept of being kind to each other seems to be top of mind.  It reminds me a little of a targeted ad campaign the way it shows up around every corner, but in a good way.  Which gives me a great idea: what if some wonderful foundation (anyone out there know Bill or Melinda Gates?) spent a few million on an ad campaign promoting peace and kindness across the nation?

I can see it now.  A billboard simply stating, “Be Kind”, a newspaper ad in the life section with smiling children of different races hugging or holding hands, Facebook ads asking, “How many times have you said I Love You today?”, the Google homepage with peace signs in the o’s, radio stations running 15- and 30-second spots with a kind warm voice reading a variety of quotations on peace, love and happiness, TV commercials with slide shows of joyous images.

Wouldn’t that be grand?

What might happen if we suddenly became bombarded with messages of kindness and hope, rather than fear and despair?  Would creating top of mind awareness for peace and kindness result in 5 more friendly acts per person per day? Or 2? Or 10? And what would the ripple effect of that be?  Less crime? More community?  It’s difficult to know for sure.  But I sure would like to find out.

Happy, peaceful holidays to you all.

Love the moment

Love the moment,
and the energy of that moment
will spread beyond all boundaries.

-Corita Kent

Waitress Lynn Willard, MSNBC video

Here’s a great story from MSNBC that came across my inbox via Ode Magazine’s daily email, And Now For The Good News.  It’s a wonderful story about paying kindness forward that began when one couple at Aramingo Diner in Philadelphia payed their tab and another table’s tab in the spirit of the season.

My vision board

Plan your work and work your plan. The goals we set are the goals we get. What you focus on expands. It’s an automatic ‘no’ if you don’t ask.

There are a million expressions that say essentially the same thing: we are much more likely to get where we want to go if we create some sort of map for ourselves.  That’s not to say we have to figure out how we’re going to get there (by bus or plane or train), we just need to figure out where we want to go and begin moving in that direction. That’s one reason to create a vision board.  That, and they’re just plain fun to make.

Yesterday my whole family–kids included–sat around the dining room, listened to music, flipped through magazines, cut out images and words, and purposely placed them mat boards to create a vision of what we want in our lives. It’s becoming a new year’s tradition with us.

This process is a wonderful mix of dreaming, wishing, planning, deciding and playing.  It’s creating a vision of tomorrow and enjoying the journey while laying a foundation for our goals–a touchstone to remind us of the life we want to live.

And that’s the main purpose of life, isn’t it?  To be lived.

Kellen 12-09

I often ask my daughter how she got to be so pretty.  Her common response is “I was just made that way,” which is what I used to tell her when her answer was, “I don’t know.”

Last week I asked my son, “How come you’re so handsome?”

“Because you made me,” he said.  Then he asked, “Mom, do you think you’re beautiful?”

Surprised, I answered, “Sometimes.”

“If you thought you were beautiful when you made me, then I am, too,” Kellen explained, and he went about doing whatever he was doing before.

I sat for a minute or two, thinking about what just came out of my son’s mouth; wondering if he intended to say what I think he said.

If you thought you were beautiful when you made me, then it follows that I am beautiful, too.

I had to walk away and write it down.  I have just begun to grasp this concept at 41. My son is 8 and he tossed this idea out as casually as he tosses his shirt in the hamper at the end of the day. (Note to self: evolution works.)

My brilliant son is so right.  Feeling beautiful is a symptom of loving yourself.  And anything we create when we’re in that place of kindness, confidence and love in inherently beautiful.

I am going to practice loving myself more–loving myself like I love my children: absolutely and without condition.  How beautiful would that be?

Renee & Fred

My sister, Renee, has cancer.  Again.  Her chemo treatments are causing her to lose her hair, which is very disturbing to her.  When she shaved her head her husband, Fred, shaved his.

Renee asked my mother to send me some photos of her without hair before she came to visit.  She and Fred live in Montana and Renee paused her chemo treatments for a couple of weeks to come have an early Christmas with us.  Renee was worried about how my kids, whom she adores, would react to her without hair.

I looked through the images mom sent me and the one pictured here was last.  I can’t tell you how it made me smile. My sister’s cancer is serious. She is scared.  Nearly seven years ago she lost a breast.  Now she’s lost her hair.  And yet, through tiredness and vomiting, surgeries and endless tests, there is joy.

There is still joy.

And it pulls itself up from inside to meet a loving kiss from her spouse with a laugh.

Captured here on film, Renee’s joy reminds me that today is a pretty fine day.  Any day, for that matter, is pretty darn excellent.  Because no matter what our situation or circumstances, if we can live in each moment, there is always joy somewhere inside of us. We just have to let it out.

Ben's Mini Bells

After reading my post about spreading the Joy Notes with my daughter, Becca emailed me to let me know about a similar, really cool project in Tucson called Ben’s Bells.

The story behind Ben’s Bells is amazing.  A family in Tucson lost their almost 3-year-old son, and as a way of processing and working through their grief as a family (their other son was nearly 6 at the time) they began making ceramic wind chimes.  Friends and family joined in and on the first anniversary of Ben’s death they set hundreds of Ben’s Bells out in the community for people to find and keep.

The website states to date 14,400 bells have been given away.

Ben's Bead Bells

Ben’s Bells cannot be bought.  They must be found.  Or awarded (also VERY cool).  But you can support the project and have your very own mini bells, bead bells, key chains, necklaces and more.

This project makes me smile.  A lot. It’s a wonderful way of spreading joy. It’s also an incredible example of how we can all turn pain into beauty, if we choose.

Park Bench at 8th & Everett, Portland, OR

The Joy Team hit the streets yesterday in what some (well, maybe just my dad) are calling an act of Guerilla Happiness.

My daughter, Taryn, and I dropped 23 Joy Notes at random locations in Vancouver, Washington, and Portland, Oregon.  We started what I hope to be the first of many outings with 18 different card designs — 6 of them drawn by Taryn and 12 of them created on the computer by me.

Next to Subway on Main St., Vancouver, WA

All the cards have positive, encouraging sayings and / or images on the front, hence the name Joy Notes.  On the back is a note addressed Dear Friend, which lets the finder know the card was intended for him or her to find and keep.

Taryn and I happily dropped cards on park benches, in planters, tucked in cereal isles, propped in bathrooms, nestled in store windows… Together we had a wonderful time.

Bathroom for ICU waiting room at Emanuel Hospital, Portland, OR

Driving home I was filled with joy at the thought that 23 people will stumble across these cards and their day will be brightened, even if just for a few minutes.

While Taryn and I have set out these seeds of inspiration in Portland and Vancouver, batches of Joy Notes have been sent to Seattle in Washington, Beaverton and Medford in Oregon, and Santa Fe in New Mexico.

Starbuck's on Main, Vancouver, WA

To see photos of all 23 drops, visit our Facebook Fan Page.

The fronts of the first 18 Joy Notes are below.

Joy spreads!

Joy Notes 1 from ISpyJoy.com

Joy Notes 2 from ISpyJoy.com

Joy Notes drawn by Taryn, 6 years old

Taryn on The Joy Team

Taryn and I are heading out to spread joy today in Vancouver, Washington, and Portland, Oregon.

We’ve started The Joy Team, t-shirts and all, and are on our way to put our first game plan into action.

More to come…