Joy (in sand) mml 2009

The secret to living the life of your dreams, is to start living the life of your dreams, at once, to any degree that you possibly can.

– Mike Dooley, Notes From The Universe

If I had a dime for every time I felt like I had to wait for something to begin living my dream life, I’d be pretty darn rich.  I still catch myself feeling that way often, even though I know better.

I have to remind myself that I don’t have to recreate the Big Bang. I can begin small, bit by little bit.  The real power isn’t in the magnitude of the action, it’s in taking action. To any degree I possibly can.

My dream life is spending my days spreading joy, optimism and inspiration to millions.  It’s the millions part that trips me up. But, today I blog (one little bit), tomorrow I’ll greet the teachers at my kids’ school with smiles and hugs (another little bit), and the day after that I’ll perform a random act of kindness (yet another little bit). Eventually, all my little bits will turn into millions of people.

That will be a pretty sweet day.  I hope I realize it when it happens.

Cause: You're Beautiful

Can you remember the last time you were around a woman and found yourself thinking how lovely she is?

This happens to me often.  Sometimes while I’m listening to her talk about something she loves. Sometimes when I see her fully engaged in a task.  And sometimes when she laughs.

In each of these moments these women are in a place of confidence and joy.  I am always struck by how beauty follows those two traits.  And how much this trinity lifts me up.  Every single time.

Toni Childs, award-winning singer, songwriter and actress, has built a website focused on celebrating the true beauty that lies in all of us, and the magic we create when we live that beauty.  On CauseYoureBeautiful.com you can see an affirming music video of the Grammy-winning song Because You’re Beautiful, and you can send a link to that video to 10 women who might need to be reminded of their true beauty.  There’s a page where you can declare who you are and what you want to create in your life.  And there’s a page with 25 inspirational men and women who will share their personal stories over the next twelve months as living examples of expressing their lovely, unique selves to the world.

I am thrilled and honored to be one of the 25 Toni chose to encourage and inspire people to live their beauty. Along with the other writers, I’ll be updating my page each month with a new article on my experience of choosing joy in my life.

What we focus on expands. Expanding the confidence, joy and beauty in the world would be a wonderful, wonderful thing.

Butterfly on rocks

Did you know that a chrysalis is what  butterfly emerges from and a cocoon is what a moth emerges from?

Until tonight, I thought a chrysalis and a cocoon were the same thing. I only discovered the difference by reading my daughter’s first grade leveled reader about Tim the caterpillar.

Tonight was Taryn’s first night of real homework.  She was proud and excited to have work to do outside of class.  She loves to learn.  But I think that’s only part of why she’s eager for homework.

For two years now she’s watched me spend time every week night during the school year doing homework with her big brother. It’s quality one-on-one time. And until now, homework has been yet another one of those things that “you’ll get when you’re older.”

Tonight was Taryn’s turn.  We sat ritualistically at the dinner table side by side. We read, we discussed, we spelled. We made check marks.

This is some grownup stuff. And though my dear daughter didn’t say a word about this sign of her coming of age, we could both feel it.

How joyous–and appropriate–that tonight we studied metamorphosis.

My little girl is anxiously anticipating the arrival of her wings.  What she doesn’t yet realize is that this is not her first set.  And it is far, far from her last. She will have the joy of coming of age many times in her life.  And I will have the joy of watching her unfold.

Yellow Belt Kellen

I love surprises. Especially joyfull ones. The karate class my kids have been taking is proving to be one of those very things.

Every class at East West Martial Arts that I’ve seen begins with a student pledge that nearly moved me to tears the first time I heard my kids repeating it.

I will develop myself in a positive manner and avoid anything that could reduce my mental growth or physical health.

I will develop self-discipline in order to bring out the best in myself and others.

I will use common sense before self-defense and never be abusive or offensive.

This is a black belt school. We strive for black belt excellence. We are dedicated. We are motivated. We are on a quest to be our best.

Reading the words is one thing, to hear all the children loudly and enthusiastically repeating the phrases after the instructor is another.

And it’s not just the student pledge that puts a lump in my throat, its the way the instructors focus on a value each week and actually sit the kids in a circle around them near the end of class to talk to these young students about what those values mean and how they show up in their daily lives.

To see and hear my children learning about things like integrity, potential, respect and best effort fills my soft, mushy heart with all kinds of gooey goodness.  On top of which they’re learning how to focus and be comfortable and confident in their bodies.

I am overjoyed to find something for my kids that cultivates such positive mental, emotional and physical growth all at the same time. It inspires me. Just from sitting in the room watching, I believe I leave there walking a wee bit taller.  And, if I’ve let myself be really present, I find I’ve realigned myself with my life goals.

I will develop myself in a positive manner…to bring out the best in myself and others…and never be abusive or offensive. This is a totally awesome life. I strive to live fully every moment. I am dedicated. I am motivated. I am on a quest, to be my best.

Taryn

My daughter has got a mind of her own.  It’s one of the many things I love about her.

This morning, when I asked her what she wanted for breakfast her reply was a definitive, “Toast with butter, toasted.  And LOTS of butter!”

I had to laugh.  Toast, by definition, is toasted.  And it usually comes with butter.  But Taryn wanted to make sure she got just what she wanted, so she asked for it twice.  Toast with butter. Toasted. With LOTS of butter.

I can laugh all I want, but this six-year-old has got a thing or two (thousand) to teach me.

• when you want something, ask for it
• if you want it just the way you like it, be CLEAR when you ask
• don’t be afraid to ask twice–just in case
• it helps a little if you smile and have cute pigtails

You can bet when I made that toast (toasted) that I heaped all kinds of butter on it.  And I smiled the whole time.

Make Peace, photo by Sanja Gjenero

Today I had the privilege of witnessing a genuine bond of appreciation and community between two people. It warmed my heart the way a really good love story does—the kind that gives me the uncontrollable urge to hug someone.

My friend Kristin and I walked up to our favorite food cart and before we could even order the nice man behind the window addressed Kristin with a wide smile and a heartfelt ‘how are you’. He quickly thanked her for joining their fan page on Facebook and did it in such a manner and tone that you’d think she had given him something of great value.

For him and his family-run business, publicly acknowledging her support of their food cart IS of great value. In this moment of genuine appreciation, Kristin offered a sincere ‘you’re welcome’ – both in word and gesture.

The shared sense of community linked them so strongly I could almost see gold chains in the air between them. It was lovely. Simply lovely.

Standing there enjoying the radiating warmth and abundant smiles filled me with hope and love. And hope for love.

Love thy brother. Love thy community. Love.

DailyGood

I sign up to get emails delivered to me by various inspirational websites.  One I am really enjoying is Daily Good.

“DailyGood is an inspiring quote, a related good-news story, and a simple action — delivered to your inbox for free by volunteers every day. Just a ripple a day, simply to spread the good.”

I love it.  Saturday’s good-news story starts out like this:

Bren Bataclan’s cheerful cartoon creatures have been exhibited in some high places: at the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston, in Logan International Airport and even on a Girl Scout patch.

But lately he’s been leaving his artwork outside unemployment offices and closed-down retail stores across the country bearing the note: “Everything is Going to Be Alright – This Painting is Yours to Take.”

Savor more; fix less. Laugh more; cry less. Anticipate positively more; anticapte negatively less. Nothing is more important than that you feel good. Just practice that and watch what happens.

– Esther Hicks

There was a time when I would have thought this to be a very selfish way to live. Now I know that this is actually a very generous way to live.

How much more do we give when we’re happy, rather than sad?  When we are happy and feeling good we listen more, help more, love more, laugh more and smile more–all of which benefits others as well as ourselves.  We do the world a great service by being joyful in it.

Spicy, dark drinking chocolate

Sitting on a park bench reading the underlined passages in my copy of Ask And It Is Given, I was reminded of the power of feeling good. “There is no greater gift you can give than your own happiness.”

Esther and Jerry go on to say that when we are happy, everyone around us benefits (which is now scientifically proven by Fowler and Christakis).

I don’t know about you, but when I think happiness, chocolate is almost sure to follow. This is an opportune time to practice seizing the moment.

In the interest of happiness and the greater good for all, I quickly texted my two chocolate-loving co-workers and it wasn’t long before we found ourselves sitting at Cacao.

Cacao is a heavenly place.  It’s nirvana smack-dab in the middle of Portland, Oregon. And we three, sipping, savoring our drinkable chocolate were elevated to levels of joy untold.  The spicy dark chocolate with a touch of cayenne is my favorite.  I pledge my undying love to it.

We were all so thrilled with ourselves and the liquid loveliness before us that we decided we should do something fabulous every single week. Tuesdays are a good day for fabulousness, we decided. “Treat Tuesdays,” affirmed Kristin. And so it is.

From now until forever we are celebrating Treat Tuesdays with something marvelous. I highly recommend you join us.